Your cargo shorts are too revealing.
Your cargo shorts are frumpy.
You’ll die alone if you keep wearing cargo shorts.
Never date a man who wears too many cargo shorts. You don’t know what he looks like when he takes them off, you don’t know what he’s hiding.
Women don’t find cargo shorts attractive.
Your cargo shorts are distracting to your classmates.
Your cargo shorts aren’t very gentlemanlike.
You demand respect but then you go around wearing cargo shorts?
You’re too old to wear cargo shorts.
You’re too fat to wear cargo shorts.
People holler and pick fights with you but hey man, that’s what you have to expect if you go out at night wearing cargo shorts. Get over it. Learn to take a compliment!
Men who wear cargo shorts are lying.
You don’t need to wear cargo shorts to feel beautiful.
You’re just wearing cargo shorts to get attention.
Cargo shorts aren’t even comfortable.
Why you should stop wearing cargo shorts after 30.
Why you should stop wearing cargo shorts after 50.
Why you should stop wearing cargo shorts after college.
You’re a father, for chrissakes, why are you wearing cargo shorts?
What women think when they see a guy in cargo shorts.
How your girlfriend actually feels about your cargo shorts.
Cargo shorts are unflattering on everybody.
Wearing cargo shorts is basically like screaming “Mommy never loved me!”
You’ll never find a real woman if you keep wearing cargo shorts.
You’ll never get laid wearing cargo shorts.
You’re pretty much asking to get laid when you wear cargo shorts.
Real men don’t need cargo shorts.
Someone grabbed your dick? What do you expect? You were wearing cargo shorts. I mean, yeah it’s a free country but you can’t deny reality. You don’t dangle raw meat in front of a bunch of tigers and expect them not to take it.
You don’t have the right body type for cargo shorts.
Were you wearing cargo shorts when the attack occurred?
Most women prefer men who don’t wear cargo shorts.
Cargo shorts send women the wrong signal.
Cargo shorts slow you down.
Cargo shorts are impractical.
Cargo shorts make you look un-masculine.
Cargo shorts make you look less intelligent.
Cargo shorts make you look easy.
Cargo shorts make you look sloppy.
Cargo shorts make you look cheap.
Cargo shorts make you look high-maintenance.
Cargo shorts make you look like you don’t care about your appearance.
Have some respect for yourself. Lose the cargo shorts.