So I am stuck in my computer lab at school, doing a whole lot of nothing while I wait for my class to start at 11:45. But there is an asshole right next to me who keeps fucking sneezing his brains out (we're at 7 sneezes now) and he refuses to cover his mouth! What do I do guys?! I am so grossed out, and I'm holding my sweater over my mouth, but the guy just keeps sneezing all over the community keyboard and monitor, UGH. He is also slurping up his snot and sniffles in ways that are making me gag. He needs to blow his fucking nose.

So I am going to post a review, because I am about to punch him in the face. Review Time!

I am reviewing The Rocket by Maybelline!

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.


I have a confession to make, first off. Most of my makeup is medium to high end stuff from Sephora. I am a VIB Rouge (which probably is a very bad thing). I hate high end mascara. I have tried tons of them and I can't stand 99% of them. That is without price considered. If I am going to be spending $25-30 on a tiny tube of mascara, it better have the best brush known to SCIENCE and the goop better be magical. Most of the time, it is significantly lower quality than drugstore brands. Most of the time I advocate investing in quality medium to high end makeup, but I now preach the truth about high end mascaras and hope to get them to up their game.

This stuff is serious business. Maybelline claims it as their best yet (which is a bold claim as I generally love their mascaras, and many of them are phenomenal), and boosts your lashes volume by 8x their normal size. They rave about their new "supersonic" brush and Fast Glide formula. Your lashes should be volumized instantly.

First off, I don't understand the "supersonic" brush claim. It's just a normal brush.

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This image was lost some time after publication.


It does not vibrate, it is not mechanical and it doesn't move or wibble around at all. It is actually all hard plastic. I was very skeptical at first as hard plastic is generally not something you want near your eye. A lot of people still don't like the rubberized plastic that is being used on a lot of mascara brushes lately. The barrel of the brush is also pretty wide, which some people may not like. I did find that the bristles were not as long as the Colossal's (which is one of my most favorites).

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

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the bristles are pretty short and kind of thick. A weird look for a mascara brush. The mascara actually looks very wet, which is not a very good sign for volumizing mascara. I find that thicker (pastey, I'd call it) mascaras are great for clumping, while wet mascaras are good for length and separation. Things were not looking very good for The Rocket at this point.

Then I used the damn thing. I was in the car being driven to school by Mr.Bottom so there were a few bumps that made me scrape the hard bristles against my upper water line a little roughly. It was uncomfortable, but not painful (though that may just be me). I was also only able to do one coat, because Mr.Bottom likes to hit potholes while I do my makeup in the car (he says it's unintentional, but I've had too many black splotches, streaks and lines for this to be true). My lashes are freaking fantastic!

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(please excuse my wrinkles and breakout y'all.)

So after one coat, I have a lot of length and some great volume. There is a little bit of a clump/tangle issue, but I feel like a spooly would get those right out. I really want to see what two or three coats would get me! I did not purchase the waterproof formula, so my lashes aren't rock hard. they are firm however, so I'm not too scared about flaking (although I will update if I start to).

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Grade: A+
I think that this much change after just one coat is pretty amazing. I wish I had thought of doing a before picture, but I am just not that smart. If you Google "Maybelline The Rocket" and go to images, there are lots of posts of before and after pics, with separation between coats! (I don't want to link, as I don't have permission).

Well, that's my review!

(And the dude is still next to me, gurgling his mucus. So disgusting.)