I know all who responded to my (rather sad and pathetic) post on the open thread over the weekend will not see this, but I just got to reading the replies last night. I probably read each one 3-4 times, and I don't exactly have the words to express my gratitude.
I wanted to provide an update. I hope that this doesn't anger anyone, but I feel like I owe it to you all. I did tell him yesterday that I was done. And of course he asked me to reconsider. At this point I've drawn my line in the sand. He must enter therapy. I will not move in with him. And things need to slow down considerably.
We've known each other for a long time, and we have a very complex relationship that's been weighed down by mutual self-destruction/loathing, among other things. I come from a loving family while his background is peppered with abuse and neglect. I don't know that I'm willing to give up on him, I just know that I'm absolutely certain I have to pull back and he has to figure his shit out. And I realize this probably sounds totally naive.
I don't want to frustrate or anger anyone, but I did want to say thank you and that I am holding onto these responses to keep my wits about me, to keep perspective and to be firm about what I want.