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The Rant:

I am currently at a national conference for my field. I was waiting outside one of the conference rooms for the first session of the day to start, proud of myself for actually waking up early enough to be on time. In the group of chairs I am sitting in are two young people practicing their presentations.

From my right, a middle-aged woman comes up to them and starts up a conversation. They evidently know each other. I don't really catch the beginning of their conversation, but then this woman starts miming waddling like a duck. She is clearly referring to a person.

Then another of their acquaintances shows up, and I learn who the woman was talking about. She repeats this story to the new acquaintance, saying something like, "You should see my fat daughter. I call her 'Mama Duck' because she waddles like one."

While this is happening, the woman's daughter shows up. While her heinous mother is telling this story, the poor woman is in earshot.

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I am absolutely disgusted that someone could be this cruel, especially to her own daughter. I don't know who this woman is, but she is a colleague, and that makes me ashamed. I felt so bad for the daughter—I can't imagine what she must go through on a regular basis.

The (unrelated) Revelation:

I wanted to wear a dress to the conference, but my hotel is like a mile away and I was walking. And it is hot in this part of the country. I was concerned about "the chub rub" as my sister calls it, which let's face it, can result in general unpleasantness and sometimes chafing.

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So I decided to put deodorant on my inner thighs. ZOMG where has this idea been all my life?! It's amazing. Highly recommend for all of you out there for whom this is a problem.