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A silly lighthearted article by Mr. Charles to cheer ya'll up

17 Cryptids!!!

Yes, you read that right. I am a sucker for mysteries and cover-ups and things that would be in the X-Files and have put together a small list that cryptozoologists may or may not be chasing after. Obviously I don't want to add Bigfoot, Yeti, the Abominable Snowman, or even Nessy because just about everybody knows these. I wanted to focus my list on the lesser known cryptids of the world. The majority of these are local or folk legends but either way, the stories that surround them are always fun for me to read. So hold on to your Kelpie, here we go!!

17-Enfield Monster. Scratching at your door it kind of looks like a bear but it has three legs, a short body, huge pink eyes and gray skin. Also it may not be from this planet...dun-dun-dun...
16-Old Yellow Top. Sighted several times in Cobalt Ontario, basically it's a large sasquatch-like creature.
15-Globster. Possibly whale blubber, possibly decompsoing marine animal flesh. Possibly it's the blob. In any case its hideous and awesome.
14-Fouke Monster. The Southern Sasquatch. I grew up in northeastern Oklahoma and we always got stories of somebody's grandmother saw the Fouke. Personally, I liked getting away with saying its name in social settings and not getting in trouble for it.
13-Dobhar-Chu. This Water Hound comes from Irish folklore and it makes a haunting screeching sound when it attacks.
12-Chuchunya. The Siberian hominid that could be a descendant of the Neanderthals. Hell yes.
11-Black Shuck. You may know him as Old Shuck, but either way he is a ghostly black dog that roams the coastline and countryside of East Anglia in the UK. Lets get this straight, I have roamed the countryside and coastline of East Anglia in several different drunken stupors and have never seen it, but that's not to say that it's true.
10-Momo the Monster. It's a disputed primate in Missouri. It's a local legend from the '70s that could possibly be a black bear, but I like to imagine a crazed hillbilly from Missouri attacking picnickers.
9-Giglioli's Whale. It's a whale with two dorsal fins. Originally spotted off the coast of Chile in 1867, it could be attributed to a genetic mutation but nevertheless...a cryptid.
8-Jersey Devil. This is probably the most famous one on my list. I watched a lot of Hockey growing up and never cared too much for the New Jersey Devils until David Puddy from Seinfeld happened. And because of the high-five guy, the Jersey Devil makes the cut. Obviously these are two different things but I don't care.
7-Kelpie, The Scottish carnivorous shape-shifting water horse. Sometimes it's a beautiful woman to lure you to the lake and then it turns into a flesh devouring horse.
6-Lusca. I am always a sucker for giant cephalopods, only this one is an octopus and is super awesome.
5-Orang Pendek. Another unconfirmed primate that has actual scientific claims to be an undocumented primate or even a surviving hominid (here's hoping for the latter).
4- Sea Monk. Back in the 1530s there was a spotting of a fish that looked like a monk. Of course the possibility of a hooded seal is obvious but I like to imagine a fish with monk robes giving people blessings.
3-Yowie. A mythical hominid reputed to live in the Australian bush. My fondness of Crocodile Dundee is really strong and I like to imagine the Yowie as some sort of badass like Mick Dundee or even an indigenous aborigine man that has eluded civilization.
2-The Madagascar Tree. A man eating tree on one of the last (almost) completely endemic place on Earth. It gained notoriety in 1874 from an account by German explorer Karl Liche of the an indigenous tribe who gave the tree a human sacrifice.
1-Kraken. Enormous giant squid that can demolish entire ships. Also the sigil to my odds-on-favorite to win the Iron Throne at the ends of A Song of Ice and Fire


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