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Welcome To The Bitchery

A text I am not sending to my roommate

Okay Dagny, here’s the deal because I cannot handle any more of this. Last night not only did you scream at me in front of Micke (about how selfish I am and how I don’t respect other people’s lives because I was having a friend over to help me pack) , but you also left your hair straightener on on the wooden floor. There are scorch marks. You could have burned the entire apartment down. You ate more of my food, to go with the expensive conditioner of mine you’ve used up most of over the last month and the parmesan cheese you kindly left a rind of so I wouldn’t know you stole it. Then you very thoughtfully woke me up at 5 AM to ask what you did when you were blackout drunk. This is enough. I need to pack in peace so you need to stay away from me and stop drinking for the last 2 days I am forced to live with your selfish, disrespectful ass. I can’t wait to destroy your credit and call animal control on you.


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