Being a medical mystery sucks.

So far I’ve been formerly diagnosed with bipolar disorder, general anxiety, alcohol misuse, endometriosis, and non-celiac gluten sensitivity. Currently exploring post-traumatic stress, OCD, and a dairy sensitivity. Never got diagnosed with ED but goodness knows that’s in there!

Most of the time my life is pretty darn great, but I still feel like shit when I have to leave a party early due to unknown causes (headache with graying vision, forgetting words, tummy ache, etc). I probably got glutened, but maybe it’s the new BC for my endo; maybe it’s anxiety, like panic about food safety or eating in front of other people or talking to an unfamiliar group. I was fortunate in that I was able to go early and help my friend for about three hours before the party (for like a total of five and a half hours there). So it’s not the worst. I’m just bummed that I’m so internally finicky.

I should look at the successes. I made my friend feel supported. I got to cook, which I love. I ate a yummy cupcake. I met my friend’s foster dog (who I really want to adopt now). I looked good. And my husband had no problem with leaving whenever I needed to. It just bothers me that I’m so different. I wish I felt as confident as I seem on the outside.

Anyway, forgive my boo-hooing. Thanks for listening.