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Adventure Time: Dumpster Diving the Neighbor's Trash

Illustration for article titled Adventure Time: Dumpster Diving the Neighbors Trash

The apartment upstairs is a four bedroom unit, which basically means that one woman lives there and roommates rotate in and out. For some reason, this tends to involve a roommate leaving a bunch of crap behind at the beginning or end of a semester, that the residents have to get rid of.

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When this happens, I go through the loot. This tends to happen over a period of a few days, starting with clothes and books, which are neatly packed into boxes and put on the street corner with a sign that says "free." That's nice since there are several homeless people in the neighborhood, but I doubt most are a ladies size 2. Then lamps and clothing racks and paintings go out by the trash; then the remaining stuff. Sometimes there's terrible furniture. I've gotten a couple of books and a lamp that way.

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I knew it was coming. The free clothing and books box went out on Friday. Today, I went out to get a taco (hooray living in The Mission) and I noticed that in the trash was a bag of action figures. Oh. My. God.

So I took the bag out and started looking through it. It turned out to be toys smaller than action figures for the most part. Dudes on horses, toy dinosaurs, Halloween toys that were unfortunately damaged. (I'm always happy about free Halloween goods.) Most of it wasn't very good; what was in decent condition wasn't stuff that I liked. There were some other things in there though too. I found an undamaged ceramic Cinderella under the toy bag. Score! I decided to figure out a way to paint her goth and I put her in my purse. I started moving things aside to look under them. Then I realized that there was a power cable running out from under the toys.

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I grabbed onto the power cable. I jiggled around gently, moved some things aside and saw that it was attached to a white hand-held thing of some kind. Finally I pulled it out and turned it over.

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I mean, I'm a fan of the Wahl with the clitoral attachment but newp.

I put the toy bag down on top; Cinderella and I hightailed it to the taco joint.

Newp newp newp.

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