I hate being a picky eater. It's probably the worst thing about me. My biggest flaw. I hate even letting other people know I'm so picky. But I just can't shake it.

So I have a professional training session to go to tomorrow. It's near my house, which is rad as hell because I get to sleep in an extra hour. There's also a really cute restaurant near that office park that serves delicious chicken rice soup. So I thought "hell yeah, gonna get me some tasty fucking chicken rice soup for lunch AND get an extra hour of sleep!".

But today I received an email from the training coordinator saying we're going to have a "working lunch" (goddammit) and they're going to have food brought in. She sent a list of sandwiches to pick from and I realized I couldn't eat any of them. Either they had weird bread (pumpernickel? Are you serious?) or weird toppings or mustard or mayo. I felt ill just looking at the list. I don't like sandwiches with anything on them. I don't like to mix cheese and meat. Mustard, mayo and salad dressings make me dry heave if I'm even in the same room with them.

I picked a roast beef on sourdough but it comes with cheddar cheese (I asked if they could request no cheese, she never got back to me, sigh), lettuce and tomatoes. I figure I can pick the lettuce and tomatoes off (I love both, just not on sandwiches!) but I'm petrified that it's going to have a weird sauce or oil or something on it and I'll just go hungry.

I'm bringing snacks with me but I just HATE THIS so much. Why am I so defective? I bet every other person looked at that sandwich list and went "eh, I guess any of these are okay" while I spent a half hour out of my morning looking at the website menu and trying to read Yelp reviews and see what the sandwiches really had since the descriptions were so vague. Now I'm going to be anxious about a fucking sandwich all day.

This is the fucking dumbest problem ever and yet it utterly paralyzes me. I hate eating out with people. It's so stressful. If a genie popped up right now and told me I had one wish, I'd ask to be able to eat anything. I hate this shit.