In handy list form.

1. Woke up early to take a shower! I don't normally shower in the morning, because I'm usually on my way to the gym, but today I was feeling kind of grody, so I thought, "ooh a shower would go good here."

2. Mid-shower, the water just... stopped. Like, turned completely off. Then it came back, but it was ICE COLD. That was just awesome. I managed to get myself rinsed off, and then I wandered out in my towel to ask What's-His-Name what was going on.

3. We knew the hot-water heater was on its last legs, so I thought maybe we'd had a catastrophic failure. Not so - What's-His-Name apparently smelled gas in the house this morning (oooh, bad) so he went down to check the furnace. Turns out, it was indeed the hot-water heater, dripping onto the pilot light.

4. There is supposed to be a safety-valve-turner-offer thingy on the hot-water heater but that apparently was on vacation because the gas, it was still doing its thing. NICE.

5. I opened a window to let some of the gas smell out of the house. It was 24 degrees this morning.

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6. Got WeePiglet up and dressed and breakfasted and bundled up and into the car, which was doing some weird car things. Dropped her off at school and then took the car (it's snowing now, which is extra-fun) to the dealership to have them look at it and fix it. Expensively.

7. Lucky for me, they had a loaner car to give me. It is sooooooooooo sexxxxxxxxxay.

8. So I called the plumber and they came by to look at the hot-water heater. The guy said "ohhhhh damn. That is not going to last the day."

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9. I signed a work order for a SHINY! NEW! TANK! We'd been talking about going tankless, but apparently you have to actually PLAN for that, and get permits and junk, and since we are in an emergency situation here, I had to abandon that plan. Oh well. Had it been July and not February, we could have lived without hot water for a week or whatever. Alas.

10. They started work immediately. The dogs started barking immediately. At one point, the fire alarms started going off. This would happen three additional times. The dogs, they continued to bark.

11. I tried to make light of this hilarious situation on one of my other internet playgrounds and was met with a huge amount of snotty bullshit for not having "real" problems. OKAY THEN! Everyone's knickers seem to be twisted today.

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12. After much noise and such hours and very money wow, I have a fancy new hot-water heater. In a few hours, I am going to take the longest shower ever in the world because THIS IS AMERICA.

The End.