So I fell down the internet rabbithole* after reading today's article, and now I'm eating fancy salted caramel ice cream and watching Zoo. It's a documentary about...zoophiles.

I don't usually care about who someone sexes as long as both parties are actively consenting. You're gay? Cool! I'm half gay myself. You're into yiffing? Yiff away. You're sexually attracted to the Berlin Wall? Have fun and use protection. But don't pretend like you aren't doing something wrong by fucking an animal. ANIMALS CANNOT CONSENT TO SEX WITH HUMAN BEINGS. I don't care how often Wishbone humps the house guests, it does not mean he actually wants an orgy.** Whether or not you believe mankind has dominion over the earth you have to admit we have some sort of responsibility towards our fellow creatures. The easiest rule out of all these is "don't have sex with the animals, especially those who depend on you."

Also, please don't co-opt the language of the LGBTQ movement for help in your struggles. It's disrespectful and frankly the whole idea of using it to accept bestiality is a bit of an albatross around our neck.*** You aren't being persecuted or oppressed at all. Especially not compared to the animals you're assaulting.

And now back to the show. I'll see you on the other side, GT. If I emerge I shall have a write-up. If not...tell my roommate's dog I love her (in a totally platonic way).

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*I feel so gross for using this phrase

**Well, except for Lucy the chimp...which is a very very strange circumstance and would probably be perceived as coercive brainwashing and oh my God why am I having a hypothetical about the ethics of seducing an already dead chimpanzee?

***I can't even. All animal references are hereby barred from my brain for the next week.