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Adventures of a dresser

Hi GT and friends! *waves enthusiastically* Please, pull up a chair and join me while I make a sad dresser happy again. Maybe, I hope! (pic heavy)

Many years ago, I bought a dresser for $35 off of Craig’s List from a nice couple who was returning home to France. It was yellow. Considering that it’s a solid maple dresser, I have to assume that it was the yellowness of it all that made it so cheap, but I saw past the yellow and knew that it was worth way more than that, no matter what was underneath that terrifying paint. When I got it home, I found the little manufacturer’s plate thingie and discovered that it was a mid-century solid maple Kling dresser. I slapped a coat of brown paint on it and called it a day. This is the dresser, although it’s not my dresser:

There’s some nice detailing at the bottom that you can’t really see in this image.

Unfortunately, I always forget to take before pictures, but you can see the terrible job I did when I painted it. This was pre-Pinterest, k? I used a roller! *hides head in shame*

Fortunately, I like to keep my bedroom dark like a cave.

I didn’t even bother to put a poly coat over the latex paint. To this day, whatever I put on the dresser sticks to the paint and leave marks. No bueno! It was time to see what laid beneath. You can see a little bit of the yellow shining through the chipped paint in this pic (the drawer pull stuck to the latex paint. Shocking!):

Those marks are from hardware that I added YEARS after I painted this damn thing. wtf kind of paint did I use?

It’s OK, I’m going to learn from the mistakes of yesteryear and strip this baby. (Aside: the guy that worked in the Lowes paint section made a strip club joke when I asked him what aisle the stripper was in. I was like HA HA HA SO FUNNY BRO then proceeded to ask the woman working there the rest of my questions.) I applied a liberal coat of CitriStrip and went to do something else for about 45 minutes.

Has anyone ever used this stuff? It smelled really good, which was really weird.
This is what it looks like when it’s ready to scrape off.

I’d never used this stuff before, and considering the lack of noxious fumes (noxious fumes=working amirite?), I wasn’t sure what I was in for. Well, what I was in for was this:

More satisfying than peeling a sunburn

Well that was easy! Now I can see why it was painted, an ugly, dated stain and some scratches:

Fucking kids

Fortunately, the natural destructive impulses of children are mitigated by their small size and puny muscles. These scratches will sand out, no problem. They may not even go all the way through the finish. Anyway, now it was time for another layer of goo for the stain:

Why am I doing this, is this worth it? Ew.

I really don’t know if the second coat of CitriStrip was worth it, it was less satisfying than peeling off the paint. Anyway, next, I sanded.

Never sand by hand if you don’t have to. Sanding legit sucks.

Hello there, wood grain, nice to see you!

Clean slate!

Now, it was too much to hope for that this would be made of curly maple or something similarly gorgeous, but this grain’s nothing to shake a stick at.

Now I need to decide what to do with this thing! Although I have three more drawers and the body to strip, I’m functioning on the assumption that the damage isn’t going to be any worse than what I’ve already uncovered, so I’m planning on dying it. Purple. I’m going to dye my dresser purple. Either tell me that’s a good idea or talk me out of it! I’ve been watching YouTube videos of people dying guitar bodies and shit like that and, I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? I know about chalk paint now. It’ll be OK, right?


Join me next time when I (ill-advisedly) dye my dresser! Maybe! Who knows, I change my mind about my projects a lot.

Does anyone have experience refinishing furniture? Your advice is very welcome!

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