I've turned to this community before, when things have been on my mind that I cannot discuss with any of my other IRL friends. So again, I ask for your help in another delicate matter.
I met a guy several months ago that I've fallen for. He came when I was not looking for a relationship, at all, and we both ended up really liking each other. The problem (because what's the point of this post if there isn't a problem) is he (a) wants kids and (b) wants to move to the country that I moved from. This came to light after we'd been seeing each other for a few months and both realized that more feelings than we had anticipated developed.
I was heartbroken and cried for HOURS. He said we could cut it off if that's what I wanted, but I honestly would like to enjoy whatever time we have together than avoid him in an attempt to avoid heartbreak. And he didn't want to walk away either. So we're still dating and he's still planning his move.
After much thought, I realized that I would be willing to move back if he asked me to. But I know that before he's ready to settle down, he really wants to enjoy the freedom of moving to a new country and being accountable to no one but himself. He said, "Stormy, I want what you got when you moved." And I completely understand. This is a man that is a serial monogamist who, because of his financial position, takes care of his partners. He's taken care of me during the last few months when I was both homeless and jobless. So I know why he wants to get away from everything and explore the world.
To make sure that I don't get knocked up while we're together, I got on birth control. I know me getting pregnant would be the worst because he would totally scrap his dreams to stay and take care of me and the child. And then later resent me. So I did it to protect him as much as me. But when I told my mother, she was actually annoyed. Like, she wanted me to get knocked up so he would marry me. And when I was talking to another friend about the whole situation, they literally told me to remove my IUD and get pregnant.
I feel like love doesn't require manipulation. Like, if he really cares about me and wants me as his partner, he'll make it happen. Or at least try to. I don't want to "trick" a guy into marrying me because he's rich and I'm desperate. It will hurt so much when he leaves. But instead of trying to make him stay, I've helped him plan his departure. Am I stupid for believing that helping someone, even when it hurts is better than hurting them for my own pleasure? Maybe I'll never be married or ever have children. And if he settles down with someone in my home country before I'm over him, it will crush me.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did you get a happy ending?