So you probably all saw how this happened the other day. Luckily my doctor's note was thru today so I've been able to stay home and recover. I didn't really end up talking to my mom. I mean I let her talk at me for a bit and then I yelled at her about how badly she hurt me (not my finest moment but I was so fucking exhausted). She denied a bit and basically said I turn her into a bad guy in my mind. Um maybe? A little at least. I tend to magnify her criticisms. And I think it's because no matter how good I did in school, how many friends I had, how serious of a boyfriend I had she wasn't happy with what I was doing. She was in a constant battle with my aunt (her sister) who had a daughter about a month younger than me. My entire life I've been in this stupid passive-aggressive competition with my cousin. And I feel like it's really fucked up my relationship with her and I kind of resent my aunt and mom for that. But I let her talk at me and told her I was getting help. She went with me to Baby Haa's weight check this morning and was on her best behavior. We got coffee afterwards but didn't talk about anything other than superficial things. She went home. I haven't talked to my dad since my husband called him and I should probably at least let him know we're okay now. I'm sure he feels helpless being 1700 miles away. Mostly I haven't because I don't want to cry. I should at least text and say I'm okay.
I see my therapist this week and I will be bringing up how Mr. Haa is struggling with me. He has been extraordinary throughout this. A single parent at times. But he reaches a boiling point and can't help but explode. It's very hurtful but understandable. I want him to get a better handle on his anger. Both of us need to work on not raising our voices. Our daughter won't be oblivious forever. Anyways I just wanted to give a bit of an update in case anyone was wondering/worried.