Folks, I really really need some advice.

About 4 months ago, I hooked up with one of my friends with whom there's always been a little chemistry. We agreed to keep doing it on a regular basis, and it was pretty great.

1 month ago, I realized that I was getting into him enough that I wanted to try and be exclusive. I asked him about it, he waffled for a bit, then said okay. I was dating another guy at the time, and I broke it off after hearing this.

Ever since then, I've just been miserable. My friend is a terrible communicator and I'm the kind of person who needs a lot of feedback. Turns out he hates giving (and receiving) compliments. He's also pretty passive-aggressive and prone to lashing out and has said hurtful things several times. Actually, I've never felt this hurt over anyone else I've dated. He's made me cry a few times, which is something that almost no other guy has done.

1 week ago, I talked to him about it, and he gave me some bullshit story about how he never really wanted to go exclusive and that saying "yes" was just an indicator that he had heard me, not that he had agreed. I was pretty fucking crushed, since I had dumped a guy who treated me very well and was actually was into me (and I liked too — just not as much as my friend) for him.

Okay. So obviously, it's not working out and I'm going to end it. Probably later in the weekend, since we have a mutual friend's birthday party coming up and I don't want to ruin that by moping or ditching out.


But what do I do when I end it? Everything was fine when we were just hooking up. Should I ask for that again? It would definitely be very painful for me to watch him flirt with or talk to other girls. Maybe it's best just to cut it off?

And if we do end up completely ending it, I don't even know what to do. During breakups, I usually like to make a clean break until I'm ready to deal with them again. But he's in my core friends group. Every time I hang out with my friends, he'll be there. I don't think I can handle that. I couldn't deal with it if I saw him with other girls. Does this mean I lose my friends?

I'm feeling so down about this and wishing I'd never started anything. I feel like I ruined a friendship and a friend group for myself. Would really appreciate it if anyone has successfully (hell, even unsuccessfully) navigated similar situations.