I have booked a ticket visit my parents. Short story, my mentally ill sister bit a chunk of my mom’s face out in brutal out of the blue act of violence. One minute my sister asks for a glass of water. The next minute she knocks my 62 year old mom the floor and jumps on her and starts biting her face.
I am not leaving until the 18th. Trying to do right by work and family. I now regret it. We were all in shock, and the seriousness is just now hitting us. My sister is still confined to a hospital. She managed to make a call to my parents AND DIDN’T EVEN apologize. She berated them for stealing her daughter who they are kindly caring for physically, emotionaly, and financially. That killed my mom. The stenghth faded amd now she is not doing well. I think she may have some kind of PTSD.
It’s unclear if my sister may get out of hospital before being arrested or if she will be arrested so everyone is scared that she will show up. Getting straight info during these situations is not easy. Sister’s husband is doing nothing. Just crossing his fingers that she gets locked up doesn’t come back for years which is piss poor planning in my opinion. He needs a plan to provide a safe home for his daughter, but he is a victim too. I believe he is a victim of domestic abuse for 10 years. It can happen to anyone, even men.
So now I am just counting the days until I go out there. I am trying to keep it together in the interim. My wife is unhappy not being the center of the universe and gave me a hard time about forgeting diet cokes after a recent shopping trip. I lost it. I am just over it and I want someone to comfort and care for me for once. I have been engaging in mindless texting with anyone who will chat with me from my facebook friends. Checking in on neglected friendships to keep my mind busy and feel happy or normal talking about the weather or work or whatever. She gave me shit about that too. I can’t breathe in this house without being wring lately.
I am making so many connections now between tolerating shit and growing up in a family with alcoholic father (sober and healthy now) and sister who exhibited violence and mental illness from age 13. She broke my nose once. My parents and I had to lock our bedroom doors or she would steal from us. We had locks with keys on our bedroom doors. You had to lock your door if you left your room for more than a few minutes It’s so easy to lose sight of “normal”.
Obviously, my dad was no peach. Clearly an alcoholic father and enabling mother struggled to handle a mentally sometimes criminal and violent teen. None of it went well. I will let you imagine were my needs and feelings ranked in this family dynamic.
My wife is going back into a day partial hospitalization program soon. We went to the intake. I saw a brochure for al-anon in the waiting room and thought that could help. It looks a bit religious, but I am sure each person there and each group has their own take on that. Any experience with this group. Is it for someone like me?