Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery
This is a platform for User Generated Content. G/O Media assumes no liability for content posted by Kinja users to this platform.

Alexandra Petri has been hitting out of the park lately

Finding it difficult to laugh at anything today, but I still enjoyed this article:


(text link because Kinja is Kinja: I am an independent, impartial judge)

An excerpt:

Everything that has seemed bad about this confirmation process is just because you have been trying to judge me as a person. But Person Me and Judge Me are so completely different that that’s really unfair. Hashtag #NotAllMes. Don’t judge me as a person, whom you have seen. Judge me as a judge, whom you have not. (Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe, as I think Jesus said, or whoever was deciding how much of my record needed to be reviewed.)

When most of my papers from my service under President George W. Bush were withheld, that was just my understandable shyness as an uncle. When I snapped at Sen. Amy Klobuchar, I was just angry as a neighbor, mentor and friend. As a judge, I would have said nothing. When I refused to recuse myself from any cases involving the executive, that was my natural indignation as a guy who once had his Lexus RUINED by a wayward seagull dropping. (As a judge, I will still refuse to recuse myself, but it will be because I am so impartial, not still livid about the Lexus.) And when immediately after the hearing I went to the Columbia Country Club golf course, burrowed into the sand hazard up to my waist and hissed like a crab at anyone who approached until I had to be removed by staff, that was just me being a person.

But I am mostly not a person. I believe personhood begins at conception and ends the second you join the Supreme Court.

I should not have been yelling in that room. I was just there as a husband, father and son, like a full Cat Stevens song and then a bonus person. It was like when I yelled, “That doesn’t LOOK like medium rare” at the country club waiter and began to pelt him with potatoes and deservedly unpopular UB40 B-sides; I was just angry as a husband, father and son. As a judge, I would have eaten the whole steak, and I would have tipped.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter