Because shoulders are rocks and I need someone to pummel them, relentlessly.

People have tried but they literally cannot squeeze my muscles because they’re so tight. I have constant tension headaches and sometimes in the mornings I get cramps if I shrug wrong by accident.

My poor shoulders have been this way since at least high.school. I’d like to know what it feels like to have normal shoulders for once. Maybe I wouldn’t be so stressed out all the time.

If you could get one part of your body relentlessly pummeled to health what would it be?