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All-Male Sex & The City Cast IS Possible

Jezebel covered the outrage over the announcement of an all female cast of Ghostbusters. For far too long, men have been underrepresented in television and movies so this development is another slight in a decades-long trend of disenfranchisement.

Bitter tweets like this just break my heart:


An all male cast of Sex & The City is a perfect idea!

Character: Charlie York
Actor: Karl Urban
Description: Day trader on Wall Street who went to Yale. Anxious over not finding his Princess Charming. Believes he's dating commitmentphobes who only want him for his money but every woman he dates can support herself. Lives on eHarmony, Match, Tindr, J Date, Christian Mingle, Plentyoffish, OkCupid, Zoosk, Gluten Free Singles, and a dozen more dating sites. Occasionally uses Craigslist for a hook up but feels slut shamed every Sunday over brunch with The Guys. Is worried he will die alone in his Park Avenue apartment. Believes Scott Disick and Spencer Pratt are misunderstood.
Likes: Craft beers, summering in the Hamptons, V neck sweaters and cufflinks for different days of the week.


Character: Sam Jones
Actor: George Clooney
Description: Makes a lot of money being a mythical consultant. Never wears the same outfit twice. Enjoys sex a lot. Relationships never last longer than two years. Sticks to dating cocktail waitresses and other women who don't threaten him intellectually or financially. (Emulates the personal life of actor George Clooney.) Is largely unapologetic for any negative behavior except when it comes to The Guys. Believes that men are for friendships and women are for fucking. Gets occasionally slut shamed by his condo neighbors who end up kicking him out for his slutty ways. Feels bad about it for ten seconds but then The Guys tell him he has the right to fuck anyone he wants as long as he's not hurting anyone.
Likes: Women at least 20 years younger than he is, the latest fashions from Armani and Brooks Brothers, and condomless sex.


Character: Marty Hobbes
Actor: Damian Lewis
Description: Corporate lawyer who went to Harvard. Sarcastic workaholic. Has terrible romantic luck for the first few seasons. Hooks up with bartender Stephanie (a Manic Dream Pixie Girl) who bounces in and out of his life. Initially thought she wasn't good enough for him but has now come around to not caring. Severe abandonment and Mommy issues. Sometimes complains that The Guys need to talk about something else other than investment banking and women. Makes a lot of money and eventually makes partner. Real estate agent who sells him his condo feels sorry for him because he's a single guy who has casual sex.
Likes: Maxim magazine, his dog Chunky, wingtip shoes, his Tumi luggage collection, and the New York Yankees.


Character: Carl Bradshaw
Actor: Mark Wahlberg
Description: Makes a living as a freelance journalist who covers sex and emotional issues. Is constantly writing entire columns in nothing but questions and bad puns. Is madly in love with committed bachelorette Ms. Big (played by Linda Fiorentino who is a hedge fund manager at Goldman Sachs). Spends nearly every Sunday brunch complaining about Ms. Big to the guys. "Why can't she love me for who I am?" "Why does she have to work all the time?" "Why can't she see how perfect we are for each other?" "Why doesn't she introduce me to her father when he's in town?" "Is she ashamed of me because she refused to take me as her guest to a giant Wall Street orgy?" "What does it mean when she won't let me keep my contact lens solution in her bathroom?" Believes a little light stalking isn't a problem. Spends what little paychecks she gets on extensive baseball card collection. Gets angsty when the Sunday brunch conversation doesn't focus on his issues.
Likes: The Guys, Swingers, hair products, manscaping, chunky belts, the song "Run for Your Life," Camel cigarettes, bow ties, and waiting a minimum of two days to respond to any text from a girl.

Let's make this happen people!

EDIT: And when I say "make this happen," I mean DO NOT make this happen. I was kidding, people, I swear!

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