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All the Single Ladies and Men

While still basking in the glow of Edie’s lovely post ❤️, I opened up the Tinder/Bumble apps and gave it the old college try again. Ha!

After several, nope, no, God no, Fucking never - no swipes. I started listing in my mind all the superficial/stereotypical (irrational?) reasons for the right swipe. Not the BIG reasons like: completely unattractive to me, interests include all things I hate, morally/ethically on opposite sides of the spectrum, but rather the LITTLE things; the pet peeves that get the 👎.

  • thin/non-existant lips
  • “School of Hard Knocks”
  • “Partner in crime”
  • Every picture the person is in hat and sunglasses and/or the same type of clothing and/or type of activity
  • Interests and likes are vague - example, “I like eating out, sports, and TV.”

Also getting the no, those who use coded language like

  • Looking for “sweet, fit, traditional, supportive”

And a long do-not-want list and/or list of demands

  • No drama, no baggage, no sugar babies, no fatties, etc.

I will be single for life.

At the risk of falling into Lurker’s pet peeve of “am I the only one who?”, am I the only one this picky/unreasonable? What are your immediate superficial turn offs in peoples’ profiles?

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