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So, you might have heard about the recently publicized remarks from Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, at Grace Hopper. Essentially, in response to a question, he said that women shouldn't ask for raises but trust that their work would speak for itself and inspire rewards. Saying this ignores several well-known issues with the gender pay gap in the workplace. Women don't negotiate as often or as aggressively as men, and when they do, they are often perceived negatively for doing so.

My boss just came into my office for a chat and said that he'd been thinking a lot about the whole deal. I was somewhat nervous, since in my experience, tech guys don't have the greatest track record with gender issues. I like my boss and my team and I didn't want him to say something awful that would change my opinion.


But he just said "It seems to me that the problem is not any malicious intent, but rather ignorance. He never thought deeply about it and it caught him. So I just want to make sure that I don't make the same mistake and ensure that you always feel comfortable talking to me about anything I or anyone else on this team does that gives you concern. I'm pretty naive about these things, but ensuring everyone feels comfortable is very important to me and I want you to know that there is always an open channel for you to talk about it."

Holy shit, I had to work so hard to not cry. Even now I feel a little rocky remembering it.

Day in and day out in this industry, I hear or read about awful stuff that people do towards women. But one of the most exhausting aspects of being here as a woman isn't the way people treat you, but the way people react when you tell them about it. Most men I know in this field don't really believe that sexism exists. If you try to say anything about it, you get deniers, pushback, doubt, and even anger.

Hearing anyone say that in this field would have been awesome, but the fact that it was my boss was just fucking amazing.


(No mainpage please)

(Aw fuck, I am tearing up now)

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