Since telling me he's decided to move to SF and, oh, by the way, he's hunting for preschools and we're switching to a week on/off schedule and I can either hop on board or deal with it, I haven't engaged with my ex around the subject. But the time has come.
I met with my therapist this morning who advised that I not speak with my ex on this until I consulted with a lawyer (I left a message with one this morning). However, I got an email this morning broaching the subject again and I decided I had to share my thoughts. Which I did in a very respectful and empathetic way. I just have no idea what to expect in response and am oscillating between "fuck that noise" and sheer terror.
I basically said that, because our son will be enrolled in pre-K in a year and a half, our focus should be on researching public schools in SF. This should be the driving force around deciding where to live. At that time, I am totally fine relocating. But I am very uncomfortable with uprooting our son from a care facility he's been at since 6 months, only to have him change schools again a year later. It's one of the most consistent elements in his life at this time. As far as splitting him between two preschools, I don't know what the fuck he's smoking with that, that is just insane.
I realize it's not ideal for my ex, and I know he wants to move forward with his life and that's fine and understandable. But I feel like he's more focused on the moving forward and less so on what's best for our son. It's not that he doesn't care, and I am not saying he doesn't prioritize his needs, but it's clearly not the driving force with his decision making now.
I just really don't want this to get contentious or ugly. We've done so well so far :-(