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Alternate History with the Waffle Family

Mom Waffle just joined the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR), and was telling me and Dad Waffle about what she’s learned of American history so far.

Mom Waffle: There’s a ship , called the Hermione, that came from France to help the Americans defeat the British. I think some guy named LaFayette brought it? Anyway, they thought we were stupid when we made the Louisiana Purchase.


Dad Waffle: The Russians thought we were stupid for buying Alaska, and look how that turned out! I can’t remember the name of the guy who made that deal...

MW: Johnny Klondike?

Me: Ahh, yes. Ol’ Johnny Klondike! Wandered into a tavern one night and encountered the Russians, who said, “Heyyy, Johnny! What would you do for the Alaskan Territory?” Not one to back away from a game of Truth or Dare, he took the Russians on. Shit got weird. He’s better known as the purveyor of chocolate-covered ice cream treats.”

MW: He ran into some guy carrying chocolate. “Hey, your chocolate is on my ice cream!” “Your ice cream is in my chocolate!”

Me: He remembered the song the Russians taunted him with and thought, “Hey, that’s a snappy tune! What would you doo-OOO-ooo, for a Klondike bar?”


We weren’t even drunk yet. How was YOUR Father’s Day?

EDIT: Just so you guys know, my parents aren’t idiots. We were just having a bit of fun. Thanks!

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