Ah, Hollywood. Signs, shopping, movie stars, homeless, clothing on display worth thousands of dollars, tons of high rises, knowing that "the zone" means, and considering it a major accomplishment that you remember anything at all after the agency wide Christmas party with not one, not two, not three, but FOUR bars (and thank God that last bar had Dom and Cuban cigars).

In short: Hollywood, showbiz, tripping the light fantastic, movie stars, celebrities and swimming pools seem to be what most people are fascinated by when thinking of my little corner of the woods.

So to get a few stereotypes out of the way:

1. Yes, I live on the beach.

2. I do not surf. I sail.

3. Yes, I've been to quite a few Hollywood parties. At least two of them made me sign non-disclosure agreements at the door.

Advertisement

4. NDAs are not pieces of paper; they are a way of life.

5. I had to stick to a strict hierarchy at all times, or be fired.

6. I helped a celebrity get her dog down some stair because the 5 pound rat beast thought it was surely a chasm to his doom.

Advertisement

So in the spirit of all these things, and because I've been pretty clear in the past that I don't really spend a lot of time talking about my time in the business, I've decided today NOT CURRRRRRRRRR. Especially if there's anyone out there who is actually interested in this industry.

Bring me your questions, musings, ponderings, displaced hatred, what have you. I'll answer it all.

Two caveats: No, I am not telling you who is in my contact list. And NO, I do not do blind items. I have an incredible amount of respect for the privacy of people who do a job that puts them in the public eye.

Advertisement

That said: lights down, curtain up! Let's begin the show...