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American Crime Story is Gonna Be Bananas

Ryan Murphy's new show, subtitled "The People v. OJ Simposon" just announced Connie Britton (!!!!) has been cast as... *The Morally Corrupt* Faye Resnick?!


And for those who haven't been keeping up, she joins:

- Cuba Gooding Jr. as O.J. Simpson: Much like Mickey Mouse, CGJ's entire face is drawn with circles. There isn't a single straight line above his neck. He completely lacks the sharp angles of OJ's jaw, cheeks or even forehead. Also, he's Cuba. Gooding. Junior. I don't wish him any ill will, but are you telling me they couldn't find a black actor with more likeness and gravitas than Cuba. Gooding. Junior?! Is Terry Crews' filming schedule for Brooklyn Nine Nine and America's Funniest Fails too demanding to let him sit silently in a courtroom for a couple hours a week?


- Sarah Paulson as prosecutor Marcia Clark (okay, okay, I see it, I see it)

- David Schwimmer as Simpson's attorney Robert Kardashian Sr. (oddly enough, I think he'll nail it)


- John Travolta as Simpson's attorney Robert Shapiro *throws hands up, walks out*

I shudder to think who they'll get for Johnny Cochran.

Oooh! You think they'll have a Kris Jenner part, too?!

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