Not an emotional roller coaster. I'm British, we don't go that extreme ;)


Just in a bit of a funny place.

As quick background, I had to give up a career I love due to illness. I have a different job now and am able to indulge some of my interests thankfully. Recent events have clarified how much I miss the old life. Then this week, a few things fell into place and I saw how maybe - just maybe - I could get back on the horse, so to speak. I have made initial moves to get things going, and am now waiting for other people to decide things.

I am now crippled with doubt, that I'm asking for trouble; for a relapse. I don't have enough money to get an actual business going, especially if I'm not sure I'd be able to handle it. Hell, I may have to cancel a weekend away (planned since last year!) because I can't afford petrol. Which sucks.

It's not quite a case of "if you believe, you can do anything!!" because dreams don't pay for food or vet bills, you know?