Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have volunteered to do the dump on new comic book day.

And yes, I remain Carl-Grimes Purrkins, because my work as Carl-Grimes is not done. Also too, Kinja won’t let me change my name. As I’ve said, I believe it’s punishment for instigating the name changes for Halloween. I instigate. I’m an instigator. It’s what I do. Sorcia said so.

Anyway, let’s get to it

The Night Shift

Aurora F brings us cats in tights, and I say it’s about time. This was all over Twitter a couple of nights ago. I hate to think we’re behind Twitter. PSF “accidentally” got drunk. Penabler “accidentally” said some foolish things. Sugarhill “accidentally” ran into a wall. Lots of accidents around here.

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Actually, all three of those did genuinely seem to be accidents. I just “like” putting quotes on “things”.

Korra spoke the truth we all know, some of us more so than others. Team Dog is the best. THE BEST.

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All right, time to stop dreaming and wake up. What was I dreaming about, you ask?

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Poor Rowdy.

The Morning Shift

Karadia posts about a really shitty racist bill before the Quebec provincial government. Canada, you’re supposed to be better than us in the states.

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Sugarhill running into the wall was actually a morning shift post, but I moved it to the Night Shift because of the comedy rule of threes. I can do that, BECAUSE I CONTROL TIME

Lizzhaa wants to know about your favorite cereal. RenoDakota wants to know about your favorite ugly mug. Sugarhill wants to know about your favorite movie candy.

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KABOOOOO! finds a map of state sandwiches that’s causing lots of outrage. With good reason! TyrannosaurusBataar asks an interesting question about shoe removal. FrogAndToadForever asks an interesting question about the angry black woman stereotype. Kruzr posits an interesting biological ability and the things that would result from that. (Wings all the way, and I’m not talking Paul McCartney’s old band.) Finally, LuftWaffle has an important reminder to people to check your pee.

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But while checking your pee is good, in reality, everything comes down to poo

Okay. I am going to use my time control powers to decide that we are now on

The Afternoon/Evening Shift

Bumblecat uncovers the mysteries of the universe in garlic bread. I knew they were there all along. Sugarhill (AGAIN?!?) talks about judging a book by its cover. Literally. BlueJeans shares some ugly prom dresses from Pinterest. I’d look like crap in all of them. Genghis Khan’t bemoans the lack of Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill in the latest Arkham game, which is piled up on my stack of media waiting for me to finish this:

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All right, a few more of these to wrap up. I like to do my dump in the early evening. MyPrettyFloralBonnet has found the love of her life, though Wenona might not have thought this through. PrincessFluffyButt wants to know the most efficient way to carry condoms. Clearly it’s a Saint Bernard, except replace the barrel of liquor with a condom basket. Monkey butlers would be acceptable as well. How many monkey butlers? Well, one at first, but he’ll train others. Finally, Erudita Vanitas wants to know your favorite Disney character. The correct answer is Baloo the Bear. Baloo the Bear.

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Well, that’s

THIS JUST IN! TEEN WHISKEY FACEBOOK STATUS POST! COURTESY WHISKEY IN THE SHADE! HMMMMMM!

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That’s it, folks. Put any posts you feel I missed/you want to promote in the comments below. As for me, well, time to dance off the stage

SPECIAL DUMP ADDITION: LaChategris' expat post!