So all this talk about credit checking led me to sign up for Credit Karma and to my great surprise, my credit fucking sucks, and it's all thanks to my student loans.
Long story short, because even writing it out is frustrating, one of my student loans was serviced by a different company than all the the others. They sent letters about it to my parents' house (which I never got) and called some number I wasn't associated with (which of course, I never heard about). They finally called my sister (and I don't know how they got her number) and then I started down the long road of healing my credit. Which still sucks. Because of that fucking loan being delinquent.
All of this is annoying enough, but Mr. PKB has a higher credit score than I do, and he had run up five figures of credit card debt as a dumb student, to the point where he was avoiding collections calls. He eventually worked with a debt consolidation service and got it under control, but all his student loans are still in forbearance and I am so can't even with this. Angry am I!
CREDIT IS STUPID AND I HATE IT FOREVER.