And I can't even post a good GIF because everything sucks and this computer can't handle it.
I just got my 124,000th job rejection today, but like the 5th one that went something like this:
You are so super duper awesome. And qualified for the job. In fact, you were awesomer than we'd ever hoped. Also cool. Bythewaywehiredsomeoneelse. But jeez, you're so awesome! You should totally work here, somewhere. And you're so cool, qualified, and awesome that we know you'll get that job you'll apply to (somewhere else). Or any job you want, ever! Because jeez you're awesome. We don't really understand why this isn't a job offer, but stay awesome and keep in touch!
Your new BFFs at that place you wanted to work at really badly
We are not friends, non-employers. I'm glad you think I'm awesome and qualified enough to not give me a job. But if you're going to not give me a job, you should take a leaf out of the old HR playbook and write a rejection letter as such:
We received 82,000 applications for this job. You suck though, please go die in a hole. Unemployed, of course.
I give up on all the things. Am I allowed to quit society?