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Another BBQ invite not bad but something annoyed me

My cousin cousin’s (cc) friend invited my mother and I to a BBQ/Birthday party. It was ccf’s mother’s 85th birthday.

There were about 40 people. We sat at a table with my cousin’s cousin who had was with her DIL and grandchild who is two. Along with other people. DIL and grandchild left after an hour. Understandable. A mother circa 35 and eight year old daughter replaced her. The daughter I realized was learning disabled. Her mother said “hi” I said “hi how are you”. She responded then my mother started talking to her.


I feel horrible about where my thoughts went about that mother. There was something off about her. Her answers and her responses were childlike and off. In New England we have an opiod sadly that’s where my thoughts were headed. My mother said in the car she was learning disabled (my mother used the term “slow”) but not as learning disabled as her daughter. She knew the mother’s mother.

Well they left. A woman around 40 walks in, places her handbag across from me then gets food. She sits and puts food down. I saw one hand with a fork then with the other a cellphone. I started talking to another person.


This annoys me. You get invited to a bbq party and as soon as you arrive you go for the food, sit, eat and be on cellphone. Maybe I had horrible lessons but I go, say hi to people I know like I talked and said hi to cc and her DIL, thank the host for the invite and say how much I appreciate it, wish happy birthday to ccf’s mother then go for the food. Once I get the food, sit, eat say hi to folks around me.

I do not get there make a beeline to the food, sit, eat get on cellphone. You are not invited to just eat and that’s it along with ignoring those around you. Do cellphone business before you come.


I am sure for her the texts were important and I can understand that. When you go to a person’s house who took the time to get food, invite folks, make food, make the food available along with spending time and effort you don’t do this.

God I sound like a curmudgeon. People around her ignored her. We left a little while later about 15 minutes. Yeah she was still using cellphone and eating. Maybe she interacted later. We thanked ccf and again wished ccf’s mother a happy birthday.


When invited to a bbq is it acceptable to use your cellphone and shutting others out? To me this is not the time nor place to do it. Taking pictures with cellphone is fine but tell folks first. Some folks do not want to be in pictures.

Or am I a curmudgeon.

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