I woke up to find this on Facebook.

If you don't want to click (and trust me, I regret my click) then here is your basic run down. The article is about being a 20 year old girl and dating a 30 year old man. Helpfully, it's titled 'Everything You Need to Know About Dating a 30-Year-Old Man As A 20-Year-Old Girl', and somehow only includes 12 steps. You could probably go out and bag a 30 year old man before dinner.

The tips read like something written by, well, the man. Other than the weird tips (Don't call him Daddy? Seriously? He's 30, not 60). The tips read kind of like a tutorial for being Bella Swann. Be precocious! Challenge him, but not too much, or about anything serious, or about intellect. But you know. Challenge him. Right down to 'let him cook for you', I mean seriously, is this article secretly written by Edward Cullen on another one of his 'why won't you fucking eat, Bella' kicks?

Not only does she spend a ton of time glorifying guys in their thirties, she cannot wait to insert a ton of disparaging remarks thrown in about guys in their twenties, who are apparently all losers with jobs that don't have regular schedules (someone act scandalized?) and live in apartments that don't have furniture. You know. Like the place she herself lives.

You see, guys in their thirties are different. They're in a different world. They've seen the future, and now they're ready to help you cross the threshold. They're real adults who can cook and shit. They've manscaped themselves for your viewing pleasure.

Obviously, I can't believe this piece of shit got published. Admittedly I'm a big proponent of the 'age is just a number' philosophy. I've met forty year olds who do not have their shit together and twenty year olds who really fucking do. But still, I keep hoping we're all past the mindset of "just find a nice older man to take care of you" bullshit, but then I keep getting reminders that some people are still stuck there.

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Oh, and bonus points for racial fetishism. The one younger man she has slept with? You have to forgive her, you see, as she puts it, " IT WAS MY FIRST ASIAN!"

*sigh*