New jokes, new jokes! New to the entire planet Earth and borne just now inside my head! Brand new, fresh new, shiny new jokes for one and all! Guaranteed to make you smile!*


*Smiling can be a voluntary or involuntary reaction to both internal and external factors and should not be interpreted as these jokes inducing a pleasant emotion on the part of the jokee. We recognize that a smile may occur because of displeasure or even muscular activity that is not related in any way to the aforementioned jokes.

1) What is the rabbit’s favorite drinking game at recess?


2) At the bar, what did the polar bear order for her friend the cockatoo so he’d stop squawking and chill the f*ck out?


3) What did the Slavic horse and the Soviet donkey drink during their night of unbridled passion?

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1) Hopscotch

2)Wine cooler

3) Moscow mule