I mean, my dad was in no way abusive, so Father’s Day isn’t a traumatizing event, but I sure as hell didn’t grow up “Daddy’s Little Girl.” My mom did everything, and my dad was largely...benevolently uninvolved?...with me. He didn’t figure out his shit until my younger sister became an athlete like him, so then she got all his attention and actually built a relationship with him. I love him, but we really didn’t have an actual relationship until I went away to college.
So Father’s Day is always a little stressful for me. There’s a clear contrast between what I write in cards to my mom vs. to my dad, and my mom gently pushes me to show my dad more than he (to me) deserves, but it all feels forced.
It literally took me 40 minutes to write 3 sentences in a Father’s Day card.
He’s a kind man, and I do love him, but he didn’t build a foundation for the first 15+ years of my life, and everything now feels like too little, too late.