I want to hear about your progress, Groupthinkers! I know this is something a lot of us are working on here. How did you practice healthy boundaries and self care?!

I’ve come a long way since last year when my family disowned me a couple weeks after my kid was born. I went NC for like 4 months and refused a visit from my mom in July when she made it clear she was bringing my dad. I did take my 7 mo old daughter to see family and saw my parents when my cousin died in early August. It was possible only because we didn’t stay with them.

This is the first Christmas that has not been awful either on the day of or the lead up to. I am proud of us for setting boundaries and even telling my husband’s family “NOPE”. I told my in laws that we would be available for Christmas Eve but not Christmas as we would be staying home making prime rib and spending family time. They respected that. My mom tried to call earlier and force an awkward convo with my dad but I declined and she backed off.

In other news, my MiL did provide food for us but it was prime rib?! After I told her that was our thing. Oh well, at least I got to eat food that wouldn’t kill me this year. Even if it was a shoe leather completely unrecognizable roast. Overcooked beef is such a travesty but she is always scared to “undercook” things. They eat anything I cook beef-wise medium rare but she is just not a cook. The thing is, I know she meant well but I could not facepalm hard enough. My husband’s take “I knew it wasn’t going to touch what you were doing tomorrow, so I wasn’t worried.”

I’m sitting here with a mug of coffee with scotch added while my kid naps upstairs. We’ve made it through some tough shit (like a 3000 car repair and some serious legal disputes with husband’s ex which and oh PPD) this year. But husband just got a much-deserved promotion, I am killing it at my dream job and starting a huge research project that my boss could not be happier about. I never knew I would get to a place where I would be commended for my ideas and supported both financially and with grad students and colleagues.