Since my boss decided it was okay to cut me down a day a week without asking or even telling me.
Suhhhiance and i have been living paycheck to paycheck for... well, since we moved in together. And we've always been right on target with rent, bills and food/necessities usually with about $5 left over. Every single one of my coworkers get assistance, so usually when i'd complain about not having gas or food they'd say "why don't you apply for food stamps?" and i would say "eh, but we have cable and internet, and we both have cars, they probably wont give us assistance". Finally today i decided to go online and put in all our information to see if we could get any help. Turns out we are able to get $100 a month for food! This is amazing. I had no idea honestly, i thought we made too much money (ha).
I'm happy to be getting some relief but i'm also sad. When i was 18 i got almost $300 in food-stamps a month because i lived on my own and worked but i made less money than my rent was monthly... it's a long story. When i got out of that situation i never wanted to go back to it. My mom says "you should be happy, you guys need it". But i'm not, because i feel like we don't deserve it as much as other people. I have a lot of expensive makeup, nice clothes, my own decent 2006 car. Suhhhiance and I both have Iphones (from our parents) and he has a ps3. I feel like we don't deserve the help, even when i know that we need it. Also i feel like, career-wise, i am the same place i was 6 years ago. It makes me feel like a worthless, useless piece of shit. I just really want to know that it will be better someday, or at least more tolerable.