Maria Bamford’s show, Lady Dynamite, is live on Netflix and it’s good. [but, when I wrote this post, I ended up bemoaning my terrible mental health more than covering the show. Sorry.]
It has dream sequences and flashbacks and fourth wall breaking. I love when shows play with narrative structures. Much like her stand-up, it has a lot to do with her mental illness, a mental illness I share: bipolar II.
I don’t know if I am enjoying Lady Dynamite as much as I would if I were normal. And, yes, normal might not be the best way to put it. But, I started running out of meds this week and haven’t picked up my refill and I alternately think about crying and cutting myself, so normal is a real goal right now. Please, don’t patronize me and explain that no one is truly normal. I get it.
Watching Lady Dynamite, I find myself comparing my mental health with her fictionalized mental health and I come up short, which feels like the wrong message to take away. So, I am trying to remind myself that a real look at bipolar II would be very boring, as my last four days have been spent alternating between sleep and Murder, She Wrote episodes, punctuated by eating candy and checking Twitter. No one is tuning in for that. Hell, I didn’t even enjoy it and I lived it. So, the fiction has to be amped up to make it entertaining.
Overall, I like the show, but it is really punctuating how hard my week has been. I am picking up my meds today and hoping that I can manage to do my job, which I have not been able to do for the last four days, despite having work due and certainly having the time to do it.
I don’t need any suggestions about how to make my life better, but thanks. I was just wondering if anyone else was watching the show and then I got distracted by myself. I have a really hard time focusing when I get depressed.