So, I got some gluten free toaster waffles for the boys. They're all excited, because they love waffles and it's a rare treat these days. I get home, open the waffles, put them in the toaster... and the toaster handles won't stay down. Like, at all. I unplug, re-plug, still won't work. The youngest comes into the kitchen as I'm jamming the toaster handles down in frustration and says, "Oh, yeah, TeenChild broke the toaster the other day. He kept yanking the handles instead of turning the dial to zero to get his toast to pop up."

AAAAARGH!!!! Goddammit, why does no one tell me these things when they happen????