You know how the other day I was all "ARRRGGGG Duck Dynasty Wine! WTF!!!" They've got a musical folks. It's opening in Vegas.

Local news was interviewing them via satellite. In his defense, John Pertzborn really looked like he didn't want to be talking to them. Awkward yet relevant question — "Why are you opening in Vegas? Seems kind of the opposite of your message. Why not Branson?" As Branson is a HUGE vacay spot for real Murricans and other conservatives, this is a really good point. Answer was to offer families somewhere nice to take their families in Vegas. Mmkay. Sure.

At the very end, John Pertzborn was all "break a leg!" and the Duck Dynasty bro and his wife just kind of looked at the camera confusedly. Newscaster was all "that's a thing you do in theater" semi-under his breath to Randi Noughton, who just had her "don't show reaction face" on.

UGH. WHY CAN'T THEY DISAPPEAR INTO A SWAMP ALREADY???