(tw: insecurities and maybe self-harm?)

I have a colleague that I don't often work with - different shifts and all that. But when we DO work together or cross paths or whatever, it seems like I always mess up. Stupid rookie mistakes that I shouldn't be making at this point.

Today, I made a mistake his first day back on this shift. So. Stupid. And I can't help but feel like he must think I'm the most incompetent asshole in this building (and, full disclosure, there's a little voice in my head that echoes "you probably are").

But that's bullshit. Or, at least, I'm trying to remind myself that it's bullshit, because I'm usually quite good at what I do.

Blergh. So now I'm feeling really insecure, shitty, and stupid. And it's only 7 a.m.

(Also, I was reading Lucky Frog's Dear Prudence from Tuesday, where one of the LWs was concerned about a colleague punching herself? It's gross, but I totally caught myself punching my leg - hard - when my mistake was called out. And I realized...I do that a lot.)

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I think I'm just going to go home, have a glass of scotch, listen to some music, and try to re-center myself. Tomorrow's a new day, right?