Please be advised that I have uncovered the funniest dog in America. His name is Marley, and he is in Chicago. He is a border terrier / Italian greyhound mix. He is known to walk on his back legs like a lemur (see above) and possesses a "goat-like beard". I am in love with him, so if you adopt him, I will make guacamole and you can come over and we can photograph him for Instagram, as I am wont to Instagram dogs.