I'm a little nervous to post this because if it gets main-paged (which I highly doubt, but still!) I will kinda die. But I really want you guys' opinions on this so I suppose I'll take the risk.
My nephew is 8 years old, but is probably about 4, socially. He has two modes of behavior- off the walls, screaming, screeching, and taking his clothes off OR withdrawn, silent, and refuses to even say hello. I see him several times a week, so he is totally used to me. But I have never had a conversation with him. I do not think he is capable. He communicates through whining or grunting. The whining is an issue of him being disgustingly spoiled, but shouldn't he be able to carry a conversation at his age?
He is also very smart though. It takes him about 3 minutes to complete 25-30 math problems. Something that would have taken me an hour to do at his age (or hell, ANY age!). He is, to my knowledge, not at all behind his classmates in terms of academics and he has not stayed back in school at all.
My sister has had him evaluated and they say he has "PDD" or that he is "on the spectrum". But I honestly do not feel that whatever they are doing for this child is helping AT. ALL. In fact, I feel he gets worse as the years pass. He is now developing signs of OCD.
My issue really is that I would like to speak to my sister and voice my concern. The kid is going to be 9 and has absolutely no social skills. That's not good, and I feel like she doesn't realize how serious this is because he's her "baby". But something is very wrong and I don't want to see my nephew at the age of 13 and still functioning on a 4 year old level. My sister and I are very close, so that's not an issue. I just wonder what and how I should say what I need to say without her thinking that I'm judging her parenting skills or worse- judging her kid. Any advice?