I have officially become obsolete. I have been able to replace myself with this bot that looks through my facebook history and write status updates for me based off things I've written about before. This has come out more coherent and less drunk than my normal updates so the bot is taking over my posting duties. For example:

  • Forth of July a bunch of puss. Need to bypass the foot cramp on my car doesn't sound like a new blue grass festival.
  • Update God sex? Hello Toby, Thanks for a slide show for work.
  • I will make the whole city black people.
  • Garbage bags full of medical marijuana smoke in the coolest spot is ruined.
  • FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU can do this
  • Now can we all the good people of Newark. I believe sexuality is a hungry, untapped market offers. Together we got a divorce 12 years ago, but let me borrow it was a mysterious thick, sticky slime on the phone. We can touch each other Tobin Wood.

Yep, sounds just like me. Once technology allows me to do this for gawker comments I can finally retire to Mexico. You guys find any good ones?