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Awkward thing is REAL awkward help me!

I guess I should preface this by saying I am a level ten Larry David. I refuse and make rules and hate forced social interaction. HATE IT.

That said, there's a work thing that I have been invited to go to.

I really REALLY don't want to go. For multiple reasons.

Number first: I feel really weird attending the baby shower of someone with whom the most important conversation we've ever had is "are you using the copier?"


Number two: I feel trapped into going. Everyone else in this office is going. It is a company culture thing to go everywhere and do everything - which is FINE, I just get super uncomfortable when I feel forced into something.

Number three: I have no fucking clue what to get her as a gift because now that I am coming, I HAVE to bring a gift because who wants to be that asshole? Monetary concerns aside (this was SO not in the budget) I am now tasked with buying a baby item for someone that I don't know, have no indication of her taste (aside from that she makes WAY more money than me and things on her registry are $700) and..... etc etc


What I need help with:

1. What do I buy her? Are there non baby specific items that you can take to a shower? Like mommy gifts?


2. How long do I have to stay? Can I leave after she opens the gifts? Do I even have to stay for that part?

3. Why am I such an asshole?

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