Welcome To The Bitchery

This is totally a bragging post - no humbleness here!

I’m moving (don’t know where yet, eek) in two months. The Property Manager just came to check out my apartment and see if there’s any damage before they decide to show it. I was super nervous because a) I want my security deposit back and b) I have huge piles of boxes and crap alllll over the place so things ain’t looking tidy. At all.

He was so impressed with the bathroom - “Spotless”, he said. “What are you doing to it?”, he asked. I mumbled something about the Magic Eraser (which, as we all know, are amazing) and smiled. He said I’ll definitely get my entire security deposit back. And I might not even have to deal with prospective renters traipsing through (yay!) because they will almost certainly be replacing the kitchen and bathroom after I leave (which as they are 70s fabulous is not the worst idea).


<—- Me after they left

If he only knew how little I clean that bathroom. Seriously, it’s shameful how infrequently I do it. Luckily(?) my tile is that annoying shade of blue gray that looks ick no matter how much (or little) you clean it. I ran tests on a group of tiles on the wall and when I caved after 6 months and cleaned them - I still couldn’t SEE any difference between the regularly (every 2 months maybe) and the squalorly ones.

<— Probably better than my usual cleaning methods

Now I look at my apartment and I think to myself Horrible! Awful! Disgraceful! Bad Girl! etc. But all he did was see the good/ok stuff. I know that men do see differently from women (something about having fewer rods/cones) so maybe he just didn’t see the squalor lurking, but I’m choosing to be impressed with myself for just a moment in time today instead of being a negative poop.


Brag about yourselves/your space/your pets/your kids whatever in the comments below.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter