I just wanted to update everyone : baby's born, he's exceptionnally gorgeous, you guys. He was small though (2.55 kg) so he was in the NICU for 2-3 days while I was in my room recovering from the c-section (wich was necessary because my cervix is a bitch and wouldn't open even at the maximum dose of pitocin, bad cervix). I thought I'd be weirded out by being a mom but it's like it's not the same, because it's him and he's special. Also, I get much too happy about stuff like the 77 grams he took in the 2 first days he's been at home. Because he was bottle-fed in the NICU and my milk took time coming in, he doesn't really get that he's a mammal, wich is frustrating. Boobs put him to sleep, if I force one on him, he cries. So I'm pumping a lot, I'll do it till he gets he's a mammal or till my husband goes back to work in 2 months.

I will edit with a pic of his little feet later, when I'll be on the computer.

Feminist reflexions about mommyhood : you will get silently judged for not getting up to go breastfeed baby in the NICU even if you've just had major abdominal surgery. You will also get disapproving comments if you send your husband, a.k.a. The FATHER to the hospital for a follow-up, because apparently, it's as bad as giving your baby to some random street drunk with shifty eyes. That made my husband reaaaally mad on my and his behalf - because he can take care of his own child and is better at it than me honestly - butI laughed it off : I know I will get judged for not being attached at the hip to my child and he will be hailed as a hero for actually sharing childcare for real, but hey, whatever, cute baby endorphins. What I mind is my MIL telling my husband I run the show and he's a mere executant while I'm dazedly looking from a hospital bed (morphine). He's an awesome dad, we run the show together when I'm not under freaking morphine, leave him be.

More feminist reflexions : you seem like a nice nurse and I appreciate he help, but please ask before you molest me while trying to show me how to breastfeed. Maybe, buy me dinner, woo me a little, you know. This is all going much too fast.

Anyhow, all in all, I'm tired, happy not to be pregnant anymore, and in love with this little guy I've known for about a week. He's a really sweet baby, almost only cries when he needs a basic need met. It's also a pretty wonderful/weird feeling to see him go instantly calm and relaxed and well if I take him in my arms to soothe him.

ETA : ok, sleep deprivation makes me forget important stuff. I wanted to thank you all for your support, you've been amazing and so reassuring for me. Thank you, so much. You guys are the best.