Welcome To The Bitchery

Baby Foot

Hey cherubs, have any of you heard about this product, Baby Foot? It's a mask-like treatment for your feet that are supposed to make them soft as a baby's bottom (or foot). Anyway, I ordered some off Amazon and I plan on giving it a try and figured I'd document it on here for those of you who, like me, are both amazed and repulsed in the best way by gross shit like all of the dead skin on your feet sloughing off in huge sheets.

Anyway, I fully expect the results of mine to be fantastically horrific. I have gross feet, the product of being a dancer for the majority of my life. Now, this won't fix the wonkiness from losing so many toenails, but I'm hoping it will make a dent in the callouses and I'll be ready for sandal weather!

Okay, so I have an event to go to this coming weekend, so I won't be applying it until next week, but I just wanted to share some of the descriptions of the process and the hilariously bad translation.


First, the packaging clearly states "Not authorized for sale or import to the United States nor the other countries." Oops. No matter. I wonder what "the other countries" are?

Then they have all of these descriptions of the types of peeling you will se. My favorite? "Zurumuke Peeling: Zurumuke means peeling like molting of the animal, it is like a horror film so that you do not feel showing it to anybody. However, because it totally depends on how much dead skin is accumulated on foot, there is a case when peeling at the 2nd time is not radical as the 1st time of Zurumuke…"

Omg, I'm so ready for my radical Zurumuke peeling. Let the horror film begin

Share This Story

Get our newsletter