Out to lunch with a colleague who I know to be pretty progressive and open-minded. We were talking about awesome food and she was telling me about a recent party she attended that was hosted by a friend and mutual colleague (our employer is huge, I don't know this person myself), who is gay and recently married. So she says something along the lines of "His wife made the most amazing food, he's an incredible chef."

"Wait, I thought he was gay. Who made the food?"

"Yes. His wife made it."

"He married a woman but he's "out"?"

"No, he married a guy."

"But you just said 'his wife'"...?"

"Yeah, his wife. Because... well, in gay couples, doesn't one tend to take on the wife role?"

*blink*blink* "Um, when two guys get married, it's still two guys..."

"But who is the wife?"

*stifling laughter at her confusion* "OH, honey. No one. They're just two husbands."


"But the one guy does all the cooking."

"Uh, yeah. By that logic, Mr. Nom is my wife."

I swear on my son's life, she was being completely serious and totally non-judgemental. This rationale made total and complete sense to her. Somehow. She couldn't compute the idea that they even if they did fall into traditional gender roles, the one guy is still a HUSBAND. She was very receptive and appreciative of my explaining this. Did I mention she is actually very smart. I... I... I really like this colleague. I'm just glad I intercepted this before she said something to the hosts. She expressed her embarrassment but I think there might be some other misconceptions rattling around in there.


Just wanted to share and thought you guys could appreciate it. Like I said, it just didn't compute but there was no hate or judgement behind it. Baby steps...