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Bad decision making, need to stop (OT: sex)

I never thought I’d have to utter these words but.. I have been having too much sex with too many people and I need to stop doing so.

Sure, part of it is the whole ‘I’m being a slut’ but it’s more that I sometimes regret it afterwards because shits complicated sometimes. Or because maybe I could’ve kept my vagina in my pants for a change and not bone some random dude.

This weekend was the tops though. Because of the non-randomness of the dudes. I’ve been doing what I swore I wouldn’t: having feelings for rebound guy. Who is an amazing person but who I’ve often heard say how happy he is to be single and not ready for a relationship. We’ve been having sex on and off every month or so and just keep winding up in bed with each other. He likes me, but not the way I like him. Which is truly fine. Although I have kind of distracted myself from my feelings by boning rando’s.

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Last night I went to a soccer match (not as a date, but as a we have a ticket left let’s go together it’ll be funny thing) with this coworker who I barely knew existed 3 weeks ago but who has joined us on our Friday night beers for a bit and we bonded over having the same personality test result. We chatted throughout the entire match, then we decided we didn’t want to go home yet and went to a movie (chatted and laughed through that too), then instead of staying on the subway and going our separate ways we went back to the office, snuck on the roof for a bit until it started to rain then went to his house for gintonics. He played some guitar, we talked for a few more hours. Hanging on the couch turned to hanging against each other, turned to hand holding, turned to kissing turned to sex. It felt right at the time.

But how the hell am I going to show up to the office tomorrow when there are 2 guys there that I’ve boned?!? This weekend! Who know each other! God I’m mortified.

And shit is complicated because I know that he’s the kind of guy who usually falls in love with a girl and is serious about it. Because he told us as much. When he told us about how he’s pining for this girl who moved away for 6 months and he’s willing to wait while she makes up her mind if she likes him back. I can’t just casually hit it and quit it with that kind of guy! Can I? It’s unethical! Or something!

Damn BC, why you gotta be so easy.

Did I mention me and another coworker are cleaning the office from our party last friday and he’s invited to come join us? I don’t know if I can face him. Hopefully he’ll sleep through the invite and wake up tonight way after we’re done.

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This frivolous melodrama brought to you by BC who is apparently an idiot/teenager in almost 30-years-old-form.

So what sex things do you want to talk about? Any decisions you’ve made recently or ever that made you feel kind of mortified but that felt right at the time?

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