When you’re already down in the dumps about your life (shitty job that doesn’t even have the decency to pay well, crap body image, social life less exciting than a leper who’s actively dropping body parts behind them) this is not the time to google all your old high school and college classmates. Nothing is more cheering than seeing the dumbass you disliked in high school currently has a better job/pet/house/social life than you do. Sigh. And none of them have even gotten fat! It’s deeply unfair.

My one small solace is that if anyone googles me the first results (that go on for pages) is for a very accomplished scientist who has barely any photos on the web. So maybe if they don’t look too hard they won’t notice how sucky my life is?

This post brought to you by late night inadequacy feelings. Share your own! Or gloat about how much better you have than your old school nemeses. Hopefully you’ll sleep better if you get it all out.