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Bad Kids Jokes

I'm in a bit of a mood today.

School is a fucking gong show.

Practicum is great (I have four regular clients! I'm psychologizing!), but I had two no-shows last week and I really need to ramp up my hours in order to get enough for the end of the year.


Moustache, who I fooled around with two weeks ago, hasn't texted since last weekend. This frustrates me. I may have been overly aggressive via text. (I texted to see what he was up to over the weekend. He said he was out of town, in our home city. I said, "bummer." He said, "(hugs)." I said, "HUGS. YES HUGS ARE WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR.") It was supposed to be a joke guys. I HAVE A THING WITH CAPS. YOU KNOW THIS ABOUT ME BY NOW.

I don't need (or particularly want) to date him, and he won't live here long-term anyway, but that guy goes down like a CHAMP and I would love to get laid*. (We had ten minutes of covert sexy times before our friend returned from a convenience store. I am, at 28, living the life I would have lived if I was a badass teenager; instead I went through a stint as a super christian. I'm trying to make up for lost time).

*it's been months and I am crawling out of my skin/pants.

So basically I'm kind of frustrated and overtired and generally just UGH.



I moderate jokes on a Kids Jokes website. A lot of joke submissions can't be published because they don't make any sense, the child got a genuine joke completely wrong, or they're a bit too rude for kids... so I publish them here instead. I have not edited or made up any of these jokes. This is the official, original source of 'Bad Kids Jokes': I do not post these anywhere else online.


I cannot stop laughing. The spelling and the general nonsense of it all is tickling a weird spot in my brain. This one in particular slayed me:

A Spoon

doctor doctor i think i am a spoon.

sit on that chair and stop staring.

Sure, I'm generally overwhelmed by my pretend adult life and am totally preoccupied with the idea of a moustache ride. But at least I"m not a spoon, right?

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